At my home, Black History Month
serves as a reminder to me and my spouse to take particular stock of the presence of African-American cultural representation in our household. As two white men, raising a child who is white and African-American, we work hard to make sure that our home reflects our shared cultural histories in meaningful and vibrant ways.
You see, Jim and I can be good role models for our son in many ways, promoting acceptance and love of all types of people, regardless of race, gender, age, ability, sexuality and the like. Yet, when all is said and done, we simply cannot show him what it is like to be a person of color in America. We can’t become African-American role models to this young boy whose beautiful brown skin tone will mean that he will inevitably be marked as “Black.”  And, in a world where race and the color of one’s skin still matter so much, I can’t help but feel a bit inadequate as a parent.
But, I’m not one to let such things keep me from doing my best.
And so, in our home, we actively and honestly celebrate African-American history and culture in whatever way we can. Our walls have prints by Jacob Lawrence, we select music to listen to and books to read that reflect the Black experience in America. We highlight the accomplishment of African-American men and women in the present and past, from President Obama to Phillis Wheatley, an 18th Century woman enslaved in Boston who became America’s first published Black poet.  From cartoon characters to a placemat featuring famous African-Americans, we try hard to reflect the beauty, strength and pride that we want Bryce to come to know in himself.
Now, some of this stuff we would have in our home, even if we weren’t raising a bi-racial son. Jacob Lawrence is one of my favorite artists, period. I have an affinity for singers like Ella Fitzgerald. Our bookshelves reflect my college minor in African-American studies. Yet, because of Bryce, we approach these representations and realities more thoughtfully than we might otherwise have done.
As a result, I have to say, our home is simply a more wonderful place for all of us.  Jim and I grow and expand our own world through our commitment to who our son is and will always be (all of him, race included). We’re discovering new stories, images, voices all the time.
What’s more, we’re beginning to think of OUR family’s history in a new and more inclusive way. Just as I pass along my French-Canadian heritage to Bryce, I find myself taking pride and joy in his African-African heritage as well. We’re becoming something new and exciting – something that reflects each of us and the many roots that make up our strange, wonderful and beautiful family tree.
In peace,
Mark
