Mark LaPointe, DRE

Unitarian Universalists in New Orleans (Part 1)

All, Social Action, Spiritual Life for Teens, UU Youth, UU Youth (ages 13-18), UU Youth Making a Difference No Responses »

May 072012

First of all, my apologies for not posting in a bit. The interruption began as planning for the big Youth Group service trip to New Orleans began to pick up (after our intern minister, Christian Schmidt became a father), then I was on full-time trip chaperone mode, and since getting back I’ve had several challenges to re-acclimating to life in New England.

That said, I do want to share a bit about the trip with all of you, especially about the beautiful people we met, the continued need (and rebirth) in New Orleans, and the amazing, hard-working, UU-raised teens who represented First Parish and its values so well.

The 2012 trip marked our 4th visit to New Orleans since the devastation that followed Hurricane Katrina. Our church was among the first to stay at the First Unitarian Universalist Church of New Orleans and that initial envoy worked lovingly to help clean-up and restore the church itself, staying there amid crumbling drywall and mildew without even a bathroom to use.

Since then, and including this year, we stayed at the Center for Ethical Living and Social Justice Renewal, itself housed at the First Church. There, under the loving attention of Executive Director Quo Vadis Breaux and Volunteer Coordinator Maggie Matlak, the CELSJR matches volunteers with various families and agencies with need. Most of the work is physical in nature and the many hands of volunteers help these folks to accomplish things they had neither the money, time nor strength to do themselves.

Twenty-one of us from First Parish made the journey, 4 chaperones and 17 teens. For many of the teens, those about the graduate from high school, this was their second trip to NOLA and they provided the rest of us with an interesting perspective on what’s changed and what hasn’t. Most interesting to me was the contrast that several youth noted between the wealthier parts of town, including The French Quarter and The Garden District and the Lower 9th Ward where the flooding, and the poverty, were most intense.

We took on a number of jobs during our week in New Orleans, working for the Welfare Rights Organization, Our School at Blair Grocery, the International High School and with one family working to re-build their home, the O”Neils. Our youth did amazing things with their hands and hearts during the week. They rebuilt a fence, painted a mural, moved some pretty heavy steel shelves, shoveled who knows how many pounds of compost, and connected.

This last point was most telling to me about who our kids are and the role that Unitarian Universalism has played in their lives. No matter how tough it was at times, or how physically exhausting, our youth never lost touch with our First Principle – the inherent worth and dignity of every person. They knew how much some of the folks in New Orleans had suffered under poverty, racism and a whole host of other inequities. And they were there to make a small (very small) dent in those folks lives.

Our youth were open and inviting to the people they met. They asked questions. They shared their own stories. They bonded with one another and with just about anyone we came in contact with. We were there to build, fix, clean… and we were there to make relationships come alive, to take on deeper meaning and purpose. In these things, I believe, we excelled.

In my next post, I’ll introduce you more closely to some of the particular people we met and just how they touched our hearts and our lives in lasting ways.

In peace,

Mark

When holy days cross paths…

All, Family Rituals, Religious Education (RE), UU at Home, UU Parents, Words to Grow By No Responses »

Apr 032012

As many of you know, one of my favorite blogs is On Being Both by Susan Katz Miller. In her writings, Katz Miller discusses life within an interfaith family, something familiar to many First Parish members. This week she writes about handling the intersection of Passover and Easter this year when the two important holidays (and holy days) intersect on the calendar.

For Katz Miller the balancing act is found in honoring the importance of each holiday to various members of the extended clan rather than rigidly adhering to calendar dates and prescribed ritual. This means making choices such as moving the family’s Seder dinner to Monday night. As she puts it, “Part of respecting the differences between our two familial religions involves giving each holiday proper space to breathe, and avoiding blending them together. But I suspect that inevitably this year, some of us will spend Easter making matzoh balls.”

The Katz Millers are just one of millions of interfaith families in an increasingly diverse America. In fact according to the Pew Forum on Religious and Public Life‘s “U.S. Religious Landscape Survey” some 27 percent of married adults in the United States are married to a person from a different faith than theirs. This number goes up to 37 percent when adding in married couples from two different Protestant denominations. The survey also demonstrates that a majority of Americans are open to religious pluralism with 70% reporting that many religions, not just their own, can lead to eternal life.

Whether part of an interfaith family or not, each of us is likely to have some connection to people from other religious backgrounds – neighbors, friends, colleagues, classmates, and so on. I think we’re better for this. In fact, in our church, we ask our children to devote an entire year to the study of a wide array of faiths and belief systems, including Judaism, Mormonism, Native American traditions, Catholicism, and more. And we call up, recognize and honor a number of holy days as they emerge. This Sunday we’ll be celebrating Easter, like some 2 billion Christians around the world. But I’ll be surprised if our minister doesn’t also find some thoughtful way to acknowledge Passover and the many millions for whom that is the holy day of the moment.

Check out On Being Both and you’ll find humor, warmth and a really nice perspective on living in an interfaith family in an increasingly interfaith world. And when you’re done, share your own interfaith story here.

In peace,

Mark

Teaching is a Selfish Act

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Mar 222012

From this week’s RE Newsletter:

Teaching is a selfish act. Yes, you read that correctly. Teaching is a selfish act.

I was just thinking about this very thing yesterday while leading a discussion with students in an ethics class that I teach at Endicott College. As a part of a segment on the ethics of justice, we were discussing the tragic shooting of Trayvon Martin in Florida and amazing response. The students were animated, excited even. Most of them had something to share that came from places deep within; feelings of confusion, anger, fear, disbelief, and overwhelming sadness. They didn’t know Trayvon, of course, but his death broke through the safe bubble that they, as mostly white kids at a private college in New England, comfortably lived within. They were in a kind of shock.

The discussion continued throughout our entire 75 minutes together. As I sometimes do, I set aside the lesson plan for the day. This was more important. They needed to let stuff out, to process thoughts and feelings. And, as their teacher, I was able to provide a sanctioned (i.e. “safe”) place to do so.

And here’s where I get to the selfish bit…

Driving home from that class, past the beautiful ocean views of the North Shore and through the warmth of the sunshine, I was elated! I felt immense pleasure in the role I had played in creating this moment for these young people. It’s fair to say, I had a little teacher’s “high” going on at that moment. It lasted through play time with my son, Bryce. It lasted through supper and in the quiet of my pre-bed evening. I was jazzed up and it felt good. I knew that I had created something special, even if only briefly, and I was certain that for some of those students this would be an important moment of growth and self-discovery. In short, I was proud.

Teaching is selfish.

It is, of course, so much more than that. It is meaningful and loving. It involves sacrifice (at times) and sharing. When we teach, we give of ourselves. We give gifts of time and wisdom and joy. We take the commitment we make to the well-being of children and youth and we live it – for an hour, a day, a week, or a lifetime.

And yet, what we get in return is immeasurable. We know that teachers don’t teach for money or for fame. Instead, most who teach do so for the kinds of moments that I described above. In ways small and large, we teach because teaching changes us, makes us whole, allows us to bask in the part we play in the life of another.

So, take a little time to be selfish this coming church school year. Pamper yourself. Teach a class for the children of First Parish and get your own just rewards.

Peace,

Mark

Acts of Faith

All, RE Teachers, Religious Education (RE), UU at Home, UU Parents, UU Youth, Words to Grow By No Responses »

Mar 202012

I want to introduce all of you to Dr. Eboo Patel. His book, Acts of Faith: The Story of an American Muslim, the Struggle for the Soul of a Generation, is the Unitarian Universalist Association’s 2011-2012 Common Read. He’s also authored a short article in this month’s UU World Magazine entitled “If we don’t invest in our youth, others will.” I encourage you to read either of these works, or both, and to think about our commitment to young people and how we can better attract and grow a new generation of UUs.

In his article he writes, “Too many adults secretly consider the absence of young people in the mainstream religious communities the natural course of events, viewing the kids as too self-absorbed, materialistic, and anti-authoritarian to be interested in religion. The result is that adults pay lip service to the importance of involving youths in faith communities but let themselves off the hook when it comes to actually building strong, long-lasting youth programs.” This translates into a kind of haphazard approach to youth programming, chronic underfunding for these programs, and marginalization of youth in general.

But we can do better. We need to do better. In fact, the future of our faith and our children may very well depend on it.

This is largely because there are some who do it well, who foreground young people and create communities which are genuinely welcoming and nurturing. As Patel write, “religious extremists didn’t view young people as an afterthought. Religious extremists saw a fire in young people that others were missing. They were stoking that fire and turning it into targeted assassinations and mass murder.”

If it sounds extreme, it is. Consider the Christian Identity movements efforts to attract youth via the Web. Their sites feature such troubling offerings as e-coloring books featuring white supremacist symbols and crossword puzzles with racist clues. And this kind of work goes on in religious schools around the world aligned with the more extreme tenets of Christian, Islamic and even Hindu teachings. As Patel puts it, “Totalitarians put their resources in building youth programs. Pluralists don’t.”

We need to recognize the importance of attracting youth and the consequences of failing to do so. If our children find our programs boring, or lacking in engagement that works at their level, then they’ll stop coming. Even if they’re forced to be present by their parents, they’ll tune out and seek out messages that are exciting, that do resonate.

We need, in short, to speak the language of youth. We need to find ways to lift them up and include them in our programs, but not just on our terms, as adults. We need to see multigenerational aspirations as moral necessity, not just unobtainable ideal.

And, perhaps most important, we need to be youth-centered, forward-focused, alive and lively. We need to exist for our children and youth as something more than a weekly obligation to get through, counting the days to separation and independence.

In peace,

Mark

PS – On Friday, I’ll address some of the ways in which we might actually succeed in such an endeavor and I invite you to join in the conversation.

Soulful Worship

All, RE Teachers, RE Volunteers, Spiritual Life for Teens, UU Youth No Responses »

Mar 192012

This past week I attended a two-day retreat with a number of my DRE colleagues from Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Rhode Island. We met to discuss best practices and to learn from some leaders in our profession about a number of things pertinent to our job, including a wonderful presentation on the intersection of religious education, art and social action, and some of the latest scientific thinking on the role of stories in our individual and collective sense of culture. Some of this will influence my work going forward and some of you will benefit, I think, from the creativity and care of this collective.

Yet, the part of the retreat that was most invigorating, that most rejuvenated me was a worship service that we held after our dinner on day one.

First of all, I should note that religious professionals such as yours truly rarely get a chance to participate in worship. On Sunday mornings, we are usually ushering children off to church school, reading a story for all ages or putting out some of the small fires that pop up in our programs. In other words, even if sitting in sanctuary for a few minutes, we’re generally always “on” when we’re in church.

So, any worship service can be a treasure.

That said, this wasn’t just any worship service. Harvard Divinity student David Ruffin and friends, instead, lead this group of somewhat reserved New Englanders in what he called a “Soulful Worship.” With music providing a foundation throughout the nearly 2-hour service, we paid loving tribute teachers who inspired our own work, heard a genuinely new (for many of us) story about generosity, and listened to a gentle, inspiring homily by David.

And we sang…

and swayed…

and chanted.

We were moved to move. Motivated to come together in a joyous, spiritual collective, voices ringing out with what can only be called jubilation.

Those of you who know me may well remark that this doesn’t quite fit with my general demeanor. I’m not generally given to displays of faith-inspired exultation. And yet, this renewed me in ways that are difficult to describe in any rational manner. It fed, for lack of a better way to put it, my soul. My essence. And, it felt good.

And so, having returned to First Parish after this wonderful and brief foray into soulfulness, I find myself happily engaged in thinking of ways to bring a bit more soul to our RE program, to the lives of our children and youth (and to all of us). I want us to learn to celebrate a bit more. I want our children to hear music and experience movement in ways that inspire them to grow spiritually. I want them to get excited about what they learn here and about their own spiritual path and religious heritage.

Tomorrow I will share with you some of the need for this kind of revitalization within our RE classes and Youth Groups and then, later in the week, I’ll let you all know just where we’ll begin. But for now, let me just leave you with these thoughts and ask you, what would it take for you to experience something soulful in your life? What would it mean?

In peace,
Mark

It’s International Women’s Day – Celebrate with Bad Romance!

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Mar 082012

Less than a lifetime ago, in 1920, women finally secured the vote in the United States after a long and difficult battle. Many of those most active in the move for women’s suffrage were, not surprisingly, Unitarian and Universalist women like Lucy Stone, Julia Ward Howe and Susan B. Anthony who helped pave the way for a more egalitarian society.

As we honor these and other women today in celebration of International Women’s Day, think about the ways in which you can contribute to the continuing struggle for full equality and respect for all people, regardless of gender. As parents, we can play a crucial role in helping our daughters and sons to understand the history of the Women’s Movement(s) and to draw inspiration from both the struggles and the accomplishments of women and girls. We can also make strong and determined efforts of our own to stem the subtle, yet insidious, ways in which sexism and misogyny play out on a daily level.

At my home, where all three of the human members of our family our male, we make a concerted effort on this front. For example, knowing that there is an overwhelming imbalance of male characters in children’s books, we switch the gendered pronouns around regularly. This is especially easy when the characters in question are bunnies or dragons, but we try to remember to do it when teachers, doctors and firefighters are mentioned as well. But we also make it a point of talking regularly about the strong women in our own lives and the broader world as well, whether its our Mayor, Kimberly Driscoll, or Bryce’s grandmothers, aunt, and teachers. We also openly acknowledge with him (and ourselves) when we see unfairness toward women and girls.

On this front, one way that I’ve found to help him get this in a meaningful way (at 5) is to draw upon popular culture when it presents the right opportunity. To that end, I’m eager to have come across the video below where Bad Romance borrows from Lady Gaga and pays tribute to suffragist Alice Paul and the struggle for full enfranchisement. I’ll show this to Bryce after school and we’ll probably dance to it together and then we’ll use it to talk about this part of history and just what equality means.

How will you celebrate and commemorate in your own homes?

In Peace,

Mark

The Unitarian Astronomer

All, Religious Education (RE), UU at Home, UU Youth (age 3-8), UU Youth (age 9-12), UU Youth (ages 13-18) No Responses »

Mar 012012

Maria Mitchell of Nantucket, Massachusetts

(1818-1889)

Maria Mitchell was born as one of 10 children into the Quaker family of William Mitchell and Lydia Coleman Mitchell on Nantucket Island, off the coast of Cape Cod. Because Quakers believed in intellectual equality for women and in education, Maria was well-educated and attended a number of schools on the island. The most influential, perhaps, was Unitarian Minister Cyrus Peirce’s School for Young Ladies.

From the time she was a small girl, Maria loved to watch the stars with her father through their telescope. Encouraged by her father, Maria was determined to become a “starwatcher” when she grew up.

In 1842, Maria left her Quaker faith and became a Unitarian. In a protest against slavery, Maria refused to wear any garment that was made of cotton! She also worked tirelessly with other suffragists, like her good friend Elizabeth Cady Stanton, and co-founded the American Association for the Advancement of Women.

In 1847, at the age of 29, she made the first telescopic discovery of a particular comet and won a gold medal from the king of Denmark. Her comet came to be called, “Miss Mitchell’s Comet,” although its official designation is “Comet 1847 VI.”

Her role as a scientist extended into the entire scientific community. Maria Mitchell helped organize the Association for the Advancement of Science, subsequently becoming its first woman member in 1850. She also was elected to the American Academy of Arts and Sciences.

When Vassar College opened in 1865 and the trustees voted to allow women faculty, Maria accepted their offer. Although she had never had any higher education, she was appointed Vassar’s first ever Professor of Astronomy and Director of the Vassar College Observatory. After learning that she was paid less than male faculty, Maria insisted on equal pay and received it from the college.

In 1889, at 70, Marie died at her home in Lynn, Massachusetts. The Maria Mitchell Observatory in Nantucket is named in her honor as is the Maria Mitchell Association, founded in 1902. She was posthumously inducted into the U.S. National Women’s Hall of Fame, and was the namesake of a World War II Liberty Ship, the SS Maria Mitchell. There is also a crater on the Moon named after Maria!

One of Maria’s more well-known sayings reminds us of the value of seeking and questioning. She said, “We have a hunger of the mind. We ask for all of the knowledge around us and the more we get, the more we desire.”

(Get a PDF Copy of this post here)

Guided Meditation

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Feb 272012

I wanted to share this guided meditation with you all. Whether you read it silently to yourself, or you choose to share it with family or friends – perhaps as opening words at a meeting or group – I hope you find a sense of peace within these words by Emmy Lou Belcher.

Guided Meditation

Let us take a moment to settle into the silence.

Hear and feel your quiet breathing.
Hear and feel the quiet of this room
and this community of quiet people.

As we sit in the quiet, feel the life that stretches between us,
that fills this room.
Feel the opening of all the windows of our beings,
and the full out-stretching of our spirits,
As we reach outward to the life around us,
beyond this room,
throughout all creation.

For this life –
for the freedom we have to shape and pursue our lives –
we are grateful and rejoice. Amen.

Black History @ Home

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Feb 232012

Chances are pretty good that your children will study Black History and Culture this month in school and church. They’ll learn about the contributions of famous African-Americans, the trials of slavery, and the hard-won successes of the Civil Rights Movement. They may even study African-American art, music and literature. Ideally, these lessons are integrated throughout the year in a myriad of ways. However, Black History Month encourages those of us who teach (and learn) to give a little more attention to this historically undervalued aspect of American history.

As Unitarian Universalists, we have a long tradition of recognizing the dignity and worth of African-Americans and were among the first churches to take on the Abolitionist cause (not without controversy and struggle). And, a free African-American man, Glosta Dalton was among the religious pioneers who helped to organize the first Universalist church in America in Gloucester, Massachusetts in 1779. Unitarian and Universalist ministers and parishioners were also clearly present during many Civil Rights protests throughout the 1960s as well.

Yet, I would argue that we can’t simply leave the teaching of African-American culture to our churches and schools. If we want to encourage our children to understand the richness and importance of Black history, we need to own it in our homes as well. Just as we supplement our child’s education when it comes to things like math, science and reading, we should take African-American studies on at home as well. Not only does this send a message to our children that African-Americans are important and valuable, but it suggests that Black history is Human history – something we can all take pride and joy in celebrating.

Here are some suggestions for bring Black History to your home and family:

1. Visit the Museum of African American History in Boston (and Nantucket) and take a free guided tour with a National Park Service ranger along Boston’s Black Heritage Trail.

2. Bake traffic light cookies with your child and discuss African-American inventor Garrett Morgan who is one often credited with inventing an affordable traffic signal in the 1920s. He also invented the gas mask and a zig zag stitching attachment for sewing machines.

3. Read a book (or several) that features African-American characters or discusses African-American history. The First Parish library has a number of books you can borrow aimed at a variety of reading levels.

4. If you have a Disney buff in your family, plan a special viewing of The Princess and the Frog. Other children’s/family movies with positive Black characters include Kirikou and the Sorceress, Sarafina!, and The Muppets Wizard of Oz.

5. Do a more formal study with your family of African-American Unitarian Universalists. You could start with Frances Harper, 19th Century writer and poet.

6. Find an African-American History Month craft project you can do with your child, or adapt a favorite craft to reflect Black history in your own way.

Whatever you do, remember, Black History Month is about celebrating a rich cultural history and a unique heritage that brings so much to the world. Share your own thoughts and feelings with your children, grow and learn together, and maybe you’ll learn a thing or two as well.

In Peace,

Mark

Youth – Taking a Stand on the Side of Love

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Feb 212012

The senior youth group at the First Unitiarian Congregational Society in Brooklyn, New York led an educational service project focusing on the Standing on the Side of Love campaign. After teaching the congregation’s children about love and marriage equality, the group made Valentine’s cards to send to New York’s elected representatives who had voted to support marriage equality – at the federal, state and local levels. This beautiful video tells the story of this effort, and reminds us of the important way in which young people can act to make an impact on the world.

Standing on the Side of Love Valentines – First UU Brooklyn from Cooper Miller on Vimeo.

In Peace and Love,

Mark

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